May 11

The day I feel insane

Got so many thought on my brain

I'm a-going to spill them out on the page

Always saying I’m OK

Hiding all my pain

The only way to feel better when it hurts is to put down in words

I’m a writer and a soldier go-getter and a boozer

I’m walking alone on the city streets laying awake when everybody sleeps

Little broken when you look closer

Best friend and a loaner

In my feelings but I learn to be tough 29 and I’m still growing up

-Poet Milia Remix

Loss has the most profound feeling. It’s a sense of frozenness, a sense of sadness, and a sense of relief.

Frozen: I can’t believe they are gone.

Sadness: We have no more time to make new memories.

Relief: They are in a better place and they are no longer suffering here on earth.

I want to believe that these are all true feelings; however, the feeling I feel most is lost.

Loss of emotion, loss of motivation, and loss of my sense of purpose.

I need to give myself enough time to find my way back.

Back to joy, back to love, and back to the drive to conquer the world. I understand that this may take longer than I like but I will grow to learn and find a sense of peace.

-Gone But never Forgotten Papa May 11, 2020

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